What is the plan man

Managing to finish all my food.

What I've found:

most things go bad after a few months.

I guess that has solved my quest of finishing the food.

What I got left:

2 containers of sour cream

Frozen rice

Marshmellow cream

Kool Aid [ various colors ]

Raisins 

All sounded like a good idea when I got them.

Next plan:

Finish 3rd year

Pack up room

Fly to San Diego

Fly to Ukraine

Fly to San Diego

Drive to Las Vegas

Drive to San Diego

Fly to Chicago

Fly to San Diego

Drive to San Diego

Find new home

Throw in some LA & Mexico and you got yourself a summer.

[ note for excitement ]

DEPECHE MODE

[ note ended ]

I have business cards now.

I gave one to the lead singer of Gogol Bordello

with a picture of him on the card.

He asked for extra and then gave me wine.

APPARENTLY he will give it to a big up type.

Maybe I'll be back in LA...but shooting something more...

I'm the bitch photographer for the music prof at SU...

and he works me man! Every performance he does, I'm there.

Yesterday he picked me up and it was a blast to drive with him.

He is the crazy-drive to kill-honking-not looking-on cellphone-all windows down-stunna shades- blasting/singing/dancing to Beyonce type. 

Fun. 

Sasquatch - I shouldn't be so fucking shy. SO many people I could have networked with...fuck

Monotonix ruled. Many of the other bands blew. Yeah Yeah Yeahs fun. Crystal Castles were better than last year. Gogol Bordello is slowing down a lot. Of Montreal had potential but it lacked any soul and tried with costumes, theater, confetti, audience members, colors, video screens and breaking guitars...but there was something missing. Jane's Addiction was just hilarious, WTF, hah.

Out of here

Next Tuesday, I leave LA

I'm coming back to Seattle for good.

I just hate hate hate it here!

Maybe for various reasons but fuck it, it is just no good.

The school is just a name and I'm just a ###-###-###

My roommates are... the same all the rest of those around me.

I'm a sick one, been in bed for weeks. 

Just giving up really.

Less than a week until I'm moved out. 

In between that 6 days, I'll be going to Seattle Friday-Monday

Today I have to pretty much drop out of the school.

Thursday Final

Friday Final

Seattle

Tuesday Final

San Diego I go

No work this winter sadly. Boss just emailed everyone is getting cut.

Even him!

Now I'm in the search to find a home for us in Seattle

What is another site other than Craigslist?

I did some more LA Weekly things.

I just gmail chatted with the editor. 

Now she is waiting for my W9 Forms to get in before I get another assignment

Too bad I didn't tell her, by the time the forms come

I'll be gone!

Where the fuck am I going to work in Seattle? (photoing photo photootoo)

Shit.

Nothing that is studio work. Ahhh, impossible with my personality. 

How do I tell my little roommates I'm moving out?

I'm going to start packing...maybe they'll get the picture.

A new chapter... gagger

Can't help but love this photo.

Pretty cute and very happy.

Today was a big day for us.

Otherwise, to note in Los Angeles, 

just doing some LA Weekly gigs.

Emailed Seattle Weekly today to ask to work with them in the summer.

I hope it is a HUGE yeah

One roommate plays with boys

the other said, " If I didn't get into UCLA, 

I would have gone to beauty school."

Yes, I live in a triple again.

Yes, I feel like I'm a freshman.

Yes, I'm as lame as one too.

I photograph some burlesque this weekend.

Mmmhm, sexy butt flossing with panty hoes in my camera lens.

Otherwise, I've  been hoping to get off campus as much as possible.

I ask people I hardly know from high school years/few times I met in Seattle

to sleep on their couches.

I sleep on the top bunk.

I'm going to fall off it again.

I eat a lot of pizza/quesadillas/pad thai/boba/veggie burgers

but I have to walk at least 30mins to class a day.

30 mins to walk back.

Plenty of stairs and hills

and it is fucking hot still

This week it was about 80 degrees

There was also a huge fire near by in Santa Barbara.

The sky was orange.

But the best drink so far=

Sailor Jerry's with cherry cola.

I had it with some greasers when they were showing off their hot rods

mmm

Thanks a ton Venice Devil's Car Club

but once Jose tried to be kissy, 

that was the end of that fun.

Damn

Paz

FOOTBALL WEEKEND

Just got done playing football with my floor team. 

It was the last game and we really needed to win for the playoffs...

we killed those bitches!

There was only 6 of us vs 11 of them!

They had to finish the game since we were winning by too much (25+ over a team ends a game)

We're in the playoffs and I'm stoked.

Why? 

Because it feels like the only thing I am part of here and that I'm able to be myself.

I'm trying to be part of things though!

I applied to the newspaper..didn't get hired.

Got a job with LA Weekly... haven't really got any work

Applied to the library... haven't gotten word back about a job

Walked into the radiostation...they said sure I can have a spot without even applying but I didn't get an email yet of when to come in

Sent in some Icecreamman.com requests for shows...haven't gotten any yet

I even sent them photos/a review of the Stan Rigdway show and no response! Only response I got was from Lucas! Which is all good but daaaamn.

I got a B on my midterm in Art History and a B on the paper. Good. I'm reading and Bs are always great with me. If I could get Bs my whole time here, I'd be soooo happy!

A's are nice and a C anywhere just kinda sucks.

My schedule next quarter might make me good nuts: Ceramics, Advanced Photography, Study of Language, and Art History B.....doesn't seem bad but those art class are twice a week for 4 hours each class! That means each week, 16 hours of studio art classes! 4 hours of art history and 5 of life science. EWWWWW

And this is pretty much my schedule until I graduate! GAG

Currently, this is my favorite song 

Did the link go through?

Madness- My Girl

Maybe I'll get into older ska? Nah but it is a good song/their other songs are damn good too.

Last week was Halloween. Sad how different everything is just 7 days ago. I had Lucas here, Daniela, Danielle, Matt, Beniah, and Karina ...all of us getting ready to go to HARD fest. Drinking, having a good time. We attempted to sneak in through a construction site. Lots of jumping and getting lost all night. I was a Christmas tree with lights and al. Lucas was the boy from Where the Wild Things Are. Daniela was a dragon, Matt an egyption, Karina a Star Wars Ewok, Beniah dressed as a girl in my clothes, and Danielle my roommate as Bubbles from the Powerful Girls (she meant to be Alice but she was Bubbles ...easy)

Beniah and Danielle tried to get in, got kicked out and made out for the rest of the night on the streets.

Karina and I ran through doors to get in and left Lucas. :( I texted him with someones phone and met up. We danced to BOYZ NOIZE (sp?) and almost got kicked out for shadow kissing on the upstairs. HARD ended at 4am and thats ...Halloween.

Oh, before we go there, we were walking to Matt's car next to frat row...Lucas jumped on a car that came too far in the cross walk we were walking in...so he jumped on the hood of the car. 5 frat boys ran out of their car and chased him down. I blocked one with my football skills. Scary because we were drunk (but Lucas) and didn't know what was happening. I wanted to steal the car but instead, I ran with my fists after the guy chasing Lucas. I was much slower when I was wrapped in Christmas lights and tipsy. Oh well. Lucas was fine. Frats suck.

We went to San Diego and went disc golfing in Balboa Park :)

Anyway, time to get ready for comedy tonight and Simone's deceased grandma's house for an abandon get together. Hmm..

Some good news!

Has been a bit since some good news:

I'm going to be 'working' with LA Weekly!

Online stuff of course for now...but they are going to pay me!

Money for photography?

Wow

Even a few bucks is more than I had in mind.

This weekend was way weird.

When I went home on Saturday, I got picked up by Kayla

to go to the San Diego Asian Film Festival ...afterparty.

Drinking with directors, actors, filmmakers up the ass...

and all I could think was this:

"I'm not asian."

I'm not even into asian things like Kayla is...

it was hard to be there.

It was the after party of their formal awards ceremony gala 

and everyone was dressed in gowns and tuxedos 

...drinking beer and singing karaoke in a hotel events room.

We left and went to a Korean Folk Village for a more private karaoke time.

I ate squid jerky with peanuts in hot sauce.

WTF

I drank too much Suju...Korean flavored vodka. So yummy--mango flavor!

I just sang because I didn't have anyone to be attached to...

Kayla was eyeing this asian chick and Charlie now has a bitchy girlfriend thing.

So I sang and drank.

I sang Chumbawanba....I screamed the lyrics thinking about the great Cunt Hunt sing-along ...when Gloria and I threw get other on the ground...but we got up again

Everyone just going nuts. I think I bled at one point from all the floor falling.

I got football practice today!

I'm so happy for the idea of football...I hope I don't suck.

They keep telling me that I'm making myself sound great...

yikes

I just love the game.

I should keep this mouth shut.

I haven't shaved since I came to this college.

Lucas wants to shave that leg hair when he comes...

we're gross/funny.

He asks me not to shave or wear makeup or do anything of those sort.

Mm

Going to go to see Michel Gondry.. write a paper on his talk.

Hopefully go camping this weekend for D's birthday.

Stereolab 

Should I go home or see Wall of Voodoo's lead singer do a halloween show next weekend?

I can't seem to choose yet..gosh, I love Wall of Voodoo! Too bad it isn't Halloween 1980! 

Instead, I'll be seeing JUSICE & Crystal Castles for Halloween???? 

WTF, this isn't me...but it has to be. 

Damn my age.

Stop staring at the ground!

Last night sucked.

I thought friends of San Diego would come up to LA.

Not the case for $$$ problems.

So it goes a bit like this:

I take a nap.

Wake up and Beniah comes over with Mike's Hard Lemonade.

My little roommate drinks some with us.

We go to the store to get Jager.

I have a terrible gas bubble in my stomach from chugging Mike's

I can't get myself to drink anymore until the carbonation stops hurting.

As we go, I see that Beniah and roommate team up with each other with jokes against me.

I allow this for funny sakes.

We get to the room.

I lay in my top bunk bed...they join.

Until I realize their hands constantly touching. 

I hide under the blanket and attempt to call Lucas.

He gets pissy at me for not being with them/allowing my roommate to possibly like Beniah.

I tell him it is too late since they already started to lay on my other roommates bed.

He hangs up with me...and I feel very very alone.

I creep down...start to email Gloria.

My roommate had already blasted Sublime...but inbetween the song breaks..I hear the movements!

I can't turn around and very nervously run out the door.

I try to call Lucas again...he gives me too much shit for allowing it to happen.

I cry and hang up.

Well throw the phone at the wall.

Get myself back together and call Daniela.

She had to go.

Called Destiny...she was very very good to me.

I feel bad she still has it bad for Garrett. Can I say love sick?

After about an hour ..I call back Lucas and we talk until about 4am.

By this time, I bet they are done if anything happened.

I crept into the room and they are just standing there!

WTF 

She wants to smoke but is out of cigarettes.

She demands we walk to the store.

Beniah lays there pathetically on the floor.

Im not up for it but she is quite demanding.

So I get my phone from the bathroom...apparently

I took too long and she tries to close the door on me before I go into the bathroom.

My poor toe got hit and bleed everywhere.

They were too drunk to care and I was too swollen in the eyes to give any tears.

We got outside...Beniah puked in the bushes and she found a cigarette on the ground.

That walk would have been at least 40mins...thank god for her finding it.

I really need to go home.

This week isn't that bad but I need to escape. 

I'm here now because I WAS going to go to the design team training...

I said fuck it, I can't give up. I'm a fucking photographer. Design is bullshit compared.

I'm going to a gallery...write a response and get on the train home.

I don't understand this...I swear I've never felt this alone and not doing the things I like. 

WTF

on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on lonely lonely lonely lonely lone!

My blog was flagged for awhile.

I guess I should censor what I say??

Yesterday, I went for a cigarette with my little roommate.

We came back to find our other roommate and 3 other people watching a chess game.

I KNEW MY FLOOR WAS EXTREMELY NERDY!

I yelled with excitment and demanded a game with the guy teaching the girl how to play.

Got my board from my room, and started it up.

The girl said, " You know, he is last year's state champion in chess"

Oh well if he was.  I played fucking Kasparov who sliced me.

The game went along ... and I just laughed and laughed...I was winning throughout the whole game. As the game went, they talked about their coed football team...they needed another girl!

I rose my hand for the duty. Talked about my spiral and such such. 

So I beat the boy, became QB of their football rec team, and as I went back to the room to read/wait for my phone call from Lucas...I came outside to people saying, " I heard you're really great at chess..." I got high 5s!! So nerdy!

I'm making friends slowly. I don't care who they are as long as I have fun ... I did judge them the first week because they say shit like 'powned' all the time...but whatever, they seem like very good people. 

But..I miss dear friends of Seattle. Of course, I seemed to drop off the face of the earth, seems to be my main quality I do to people I really like.  I feel a bit stuck. The friends in San Diego have moved on. I really can't seem to imagine of trying this again. Friends. I don't even know how to have any if I did have any. My examples of Seattle/San Diego. 

I'm just in a really weird spot right now. I'm fine but it is weird to be anywhere right now. I just keep myself busy 

- Might work at House of Blues in Hollywood

- Might work for our newspaper

- might try to intern at Jack FM

- might just jump off a bridge